A Blessing Is Returned

by Shlomo Gewirtz

Candlelighting, Readings:
Candles: 7:49 p.m.
Torah reading: Lev. 25:1-26:2
Haftarah: Jeremiah 32:6-27
Shabbat ends: 8:56 p.m.

How do you find out what you’re good at?
With work becoming more intangible and complex, pinpointing who gets credit (and for what) is often luck. Even though we take pride in a job well done, the experience we accumulate in a company may lose value over time if management changes or looks to replace longtime employees with those whose college degrees are more up-to-date.
Two thousand years ago, in the land of Israel, Rabbi Yochanan ben-Zakai was seen as perhaps the greatest Nasi, or Scholar Prince, partly because he

publicly recognized the qualities and strengths of certain students who were (we’re told in commentaries to “Ethics of Our Fathers”) so humble as to be unaware of their own stature: Eliezer ben-Hyrcanus, with his encyclopedic memory, was the zealous guardian of Jewish tradition who fought tenaciously to preserve its integrity. His study partner, Yehoshua ben-Chananya, used his wit, wisdom, modesty and debating skills to become the great scholar and diplomat. Yosie the Kohen, a member of the priestly family, was a model of ethical and moral perfection. Shimon ben-Natanel pursued the proper path so energetically that he went to the greatest lengths to stay away from sin. Elazar ben-Arach’s mind was so creative and fertile that Rabbi Yochanan termed it “a spring flowing with ever-increasing vigor.”
Says Britain’s Chief Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, “By identifying what each could become [Rabbi Yochanan] helped them achieve it. ... The best teachers are not necessarily those with a gift for instruction. They are people who value their students, identify their potential and get them to believe in themselves.”
Whether or not you consider yourself a teacher — in your family, on the job, among friends, or in your community — do you recall when you went beyond the pat on the back and prominently identified someone’s achievements? Was it with a flip remark, a casual conversation, an affectionate joke, a long, involved talk, or a formal evaluation? How do you think it might have affected that person over the years?
Rabbi Yosie Levine of The Jewish Center cites Moses’ blessing of us in the wilderness [Exodus 39:43] as one that couldn’t have come at a better time. Moses had emerged from Mount Sinai, after weeks in which where he was feared dead, only to feel so violated by the sight of the Golden Calf that he smashed the sacred Ten Commandments. A reunion that could have been the greatest celebration turned into a tragedy of devastation and death. And yet, after our punishment and repentance, and our enthusiastic completion of the elaborate Mishkan (Sanctuary), Moses blessed us.
This week, in Behar, God compares that Sanctuary, built as a labor of love, to the sanctity of Shabbat [Lev. 26:2], returning the people’s love.
Explains Rabbi Levine, when Moses blessed us after building the Sanctuary, he was saying I’m so proud of you in “the fatherly or grandfatherly voice of reinforcement that is so empowering. We all know people who have no such voice in their lives, that is, no one willing to throw objectivity to the wind and just say, I’m proud of you. It takes a lot of investment and even more generosity of spirit to take pride in someone else’s accomplishments.”
According to tradition, the end of that blessing encompasses Psalm 90: “A prayer by Moses... May the favor of the Lord our God be upon us; let the work of our hands prosper,” revealing that any momentary recognition we confer on someone’s work is an everlasting prayer. By showing others what they’ve done well, we go beyond the clichés used to promote ‘self-esteem.’ We hand them the raw material to craft stories of today’s achievements in order to anticipate and articulate tomorrow’s possibilities.
But, I’ve discovered, there’s another benefit that’s also transforming. The more I say, “I’m so proud of you,” the more others enter my life and bring to light what I, myself, am good at. What greater blessing than one of such infinite worth? n
Shlomo Gewirtz, a motivational speaker and career coach, is the author of the forthcoming, “Lose the Shmooze: Don’t Say Yes When They Offer You Coffee.” He can be reached at sgewirtz@gmail.com.

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