Learning From Loss

The campers at Camp Koby are an inspirational group.

Fun in the sun: At Camp Koby, named in memory of Koby Mandell, Israeli children with family members killed in terror attacks can play in the company of others like them. The program is staffed by Israelis and Americans who are trained to be counselors or therapists. Courtesy Josh Nass

by Josh Nass

With less than three months to go until the summer, teens are looking for camps and other ways to spend their summer vacations. Last year I decided I didn’t want to spend my summer in the conventional way. Instead of going to the ordinary Modern Orthodox sleepaway camp, I decided I wanted a different program where I would be able to help with the ongoing crises in Israel.
After a few days of research, I learned of the Koby Mandell Foundation. The Koby Mandell Foundation was created by Seth and Sherri Mandell in commemoration of their son Koby. In May 2001 Koby and his friend Yosef Ishran were brutally murdered by a group of Arabs in a cave near Tekoa where he and his family

lived.
In light of the tragedy of their son’s death, Seth and Sherri Mandell decided to start a foundation that would help Israeli children who have suffered the loss of immediate family members from terrorism. The Koby Mandell Foundation has grown into a world-renowned organization with many programs for bereaved families such as the Family Healing Program, the Mother’s Healing Retreat and Camp Koby.
I had the privilege and honor of spending last summer as a therapist in Camp Koby. Although I participated in the summer camp, Camp Koby takes place year round during Chanukah, Pesach and Sukkot.
“Teens who work at Camp Koby have the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of Israeli children who are living with the traumatic loss of a loved one to terror,” wrote Rabbi Yair Spitz, director of project development at the Koby Mandell Foundation, in an e-mail interview. “Throughout the training program and work with the children participants will learn the meaning of togetherness, communal support, sharing, dealing with loss and pain, and therapeutic healing.”
The camp takes place simultaneously on two different kibbutzim in the northern part of Israel. The camp is divided into a separate and a mixed camp, depending on the religiosity of the camper.
For the American program the foundation chooses 40 applicants to serve as camp counselors or therapists. All applicants must be prospective 11th or 12th grade students and an interview is included as part of the application process. Although Camp Koby is only 10 days long, the program for American staff members runs over six weeks and includes touring around Israel. For this reason counselors and therapists have to pay approximately $6,000 to participate in Camp Koby.
As a therapist my job was to oversee and evaluate the way the campers are behaving and interacting with each other and their counselors. If a counselor has an issue with a particular camper, he or she consults the therapist for advice. All teen therapists are trained by professionals about how to act with the campers and how to deal with certain situations. The therapists meet with professionals on a daily basis during camp to discuss particular situations with children and overall progress. The therapists usually bunk with other therapists but they have the choice of sleeping in the bunk with the campers they are assigned to.
Each bunk is comprised of at least one Israeli counselor accompanied by an American counselor and of course the campers themselves. The counselor’s responsibilities entail taking their campers to all their activities and meals as well as putting their campers to sleep which tends to be troubling at times.
At the start of camp I was worried about how the campers would treat me. I had been nervous ever since I registered for the program. I thought the campers wouldn’t accept me because of the challenging language barrier along with the fact that I had nothing in common with them. Being a nervous wreck I started camp sharing a bunk with other therapists. But as soon as I met the campers on day one their warm acceptance of me led me to switching into one of their bunks.
What struck me the most throughout the entire camp until this very day are those first 15 minutes when the campers arrived. I had no idea how to deal with these kids. After going through the loss of a close family member, I would never have imagined these kids being able to relate to me in any way. I expected the campers to be sad to say the least. But to my surprise, from the very moment I saw those children walking off those buses I noticed their smiles and from that very moment I learned that even with all that these kids had been through they were the happiest children in the world.
The first night’s activity was karaoke. The campers picked their favorite songs and sang them in front of the crowd with a microphone either by themselves or if they wanted with their counselors. According to an American counselor, one of her campers picked a song that she wanted to sing too. The camper said she wanted to sing the song alone. But after a few minutes, the camper returned and said she was embarrassed and asked if the counselor would join her.
“I was taken aback by the immediate trust she had towards me,” said Danielle Deluty, a junior at the Ramaz Upper School in Manhattan. “After knowing me for only a few hours and on top of not speaking the same language, she still accepted me. This was a recurring dynamic between the campers and the American counselors in camp. The realization that differences such as language and culture are purely superficial — that it is possible to connect deeply with others regardless of our different backgrounds.” It was such stories that were recurring throughout my summer in Camp Koby.
“In addition to participating in a unique chessed opportunity, many of the participants experience a maturing transformation in the way they view themselves, challenges in life, chessed and Israel,” wrote Rabbi Spitz. “All past participants admit to the experience as being a life altering one which will continue to deeply impact them throughout their lives.”
I can personally attest to my summer in Camp Koby as being the best summer of my life. Although there is no official deadline for registration, there aren’t that many more spots open so sign up fast. It’ll be the best summer of your life too, I promise.
For more information about Camp Koby go to www.kobymandell.org.
Josh Nass is a junior at Ramaz Upper School in Manhattan.

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