What Do You Believe?

Teens question the existence of God more than they question their neighbor’s kashrut, according to a Fresh Ink survey.

by Melanie Goldberg

Hello, God. Are you there? It’s that girl You created not so long ago, but long enough for her to question if You’re really there. So are You, God?
Now I know many people will take offense to what I’ve written, but there’s really no sense since all teens have questions about the existence of God. I discovered this in a survey I conducted with 45 teens. I asked nine questions about Judaism. The questions varied from belief in God, to the importance of prayer, to feelings toward the different sects of Judaism and to the entire Jewish religion. After reading through the responses I found that in all the denominations of Judaism there’s this feeling of uncertainty about God.
I also discovered that

most teens felt this way as a result of a sense disconnection from the Jewish religion. We feel like Judaism is just something we say if someone asks us our religion; Judaism is not a part of us. It’s just something we were born into, some even feel forced into. But why can’t we love and feel a connection to Judaism? Why can’t we consider it a part of ourselves and be proud to call ourselves Jewish? Why can’t we truly believe in God?
The existence of God is a question today’s teens ponder. Yes, that’s right. After all our years of learning there is a God, we still dare to question His existence.
Three of my teachers focused their lessons on finding proof for the existence of God and it definitely impacted my class. One read us inspirational stories from a book, “Touched By A Story” (which were enough for some); while another made it a complete class discussion totally straying from the curriculum (which isn’t a bad thing to do once in awhile); and the last one actually made it her subject for this term (I can’t wait to see where it leads us!). I would like to thank them for their efforts and really hope more teachers will follow suit. It’s important for our Jewish nation that we teens get answers and be comfortable with the fact there is a God so we can be proper role models for our own children.
Why we feel this disconnection between our religion and God was still pretty unclear to me. We’d talk about Jews and their suffering but it wouldn’t pain us since we didn’t feel as if it was us being affected. It was Jews, and we were Jews, that was our identity and that was all we felt. However, we shouldn’t feel that way if we were brought up with God. It just didn’t make any sense. Finally, in one of my survey respondents I found a pretty good answer.
“I am comfortable with my level of observance and I love being Jewish,” wrote Elana Blank, a Conservative Jew and sophomore at Solomon Schechter High School of Westchester. That’s when it hit me. If we teens aren’t comfortable with ourselves how can we be comfortable with anything else? Is that why we feel the disconnection? Is it because we’re not connected with ourselves?
I looked back at the other responses and found that the many teens who attended a Jewish summer camp or were affiliated with a Jewish youth group developed a stronger connection to their Judaism and to God.
By attending something Jewish you can be in an environment that actually addresses your questions about God and the entire Jewish religion. Once you got comfortable within yourself — going to camp or a youth group event and finding your place among friends, a.k.a. your comfort zone — you could get comfortable with your place in Judaism. I found that once you got comfortable with who you are in the world, you accept that Judaism is a part of who you are too.
My survey also revealed that most teenagers don’t feel any sort of dislike against those from a different denomination of Judaism which I think is a pretty big step for our people. If we have one unified nation then we have a unified voice to speak out for us in the world. Okay, I know that last part is pushing it since we all have our differences in beliefs, but no dislike is still a pretty big step.
“It doesn’t matter what your level of observance is,” wrote Daniel Kaplan, a Modern Orthodox freshman at Ramaz. “Although they might not follow the same laws that I do, I respect them for who they are because we are all one nation.”
This respect we have for fellow Jews is a great characteristic for our people. Although we may differ in beliefs, our acceptance of the other’s differences may be the ultimate reason for our survival.
Our acceptance of others, I found, came from the common feeling of disconnection. It doesn’t matter how you believe in Judaism or God, it just matters if you do. Because then we’re all in the same boat.
“I would like to join something that was between Modern Orthodoxy and Conservatism,” said Daphna Weinstock in her survey answers. “I like Conservatism’s welcoming attitude ... and I like Modern Orthodoxy’s stress on Shabbat and a Jewish education.” Daphna is a Modern Orthodox sophomore at Ramaz.
If we have found acceptance of others and their beliefs, surely we can find acceptance within ourselves and of our own beliefs. We can find our own comfort zone, whether through the help of others from different denominations or on our own. Just as Daphna took Conservatism’s welcoming attitude and incorporated it into her Orthodox Shabbat and Jewish education, we too can mix and match by taking something from one sect and incorporating it into ours.
Once you do start believing in God, prayer becomes a necessity. However, I found that at least 75 percent of teens in my survey do not pray which is a very disconcerting fact. How can we expect things to happen if we do not pray?
Prayer doesn’t need to be only saying the words in a siddur; you can easily make up your own to make it more personal and direct. It only takes a few minutes and I feel like it’s important since when else do you have a chance to actually ask the one being that can actually affect your wants and needs.
“I pray three times a day and I feel that prayer is essential to our survival,” wrote Daniel Kaplan. “If you believe that there is a G-D in the world then the least you can do is thank him for what he does for you.”
Prayer is essential in every religion. Without it the religion would die out. But it’s not only the connection to God we pray for.
“I pray because I think it strengthens my connection to Jews all over the world who are saying the same prayers and rocking back and forth in the same way. It’s the cultural connection that I pray for,” responded Dave Benger in my survey. Dave is a Modern Orthodox junior at Packer Collegiate Institute.
We teens are really just searching to feel a connection to our religion and to the other Jews around the world. We want to feel part of the Jewish circle. We want to feel like there actually is one out there. So in this way we can ultimately just feel comfortable with who we are and feel that Judaism is a part of our persona too.
But that takes time. A comfort zone is not something a person can discover easily. It’s not easy for people to figure out and accept who they are: that we are what God created. That’s how I picture God: my creator and my mentor. His Torah is my guidebook and some of the rabbis are His messengers. But that’s just me. Everybody’s different. But just wait. You’ll know when you’ve found yourself. Welcome to the rest of your life.
Melanie Goldberg is a junior at Shulamith High School in Brooklyn.

Westchester Jewish Conference

Westchester’s Jewish Community Relations Organization