The Power Of Prayer

For the love of Torah: Frisch students joyfully celebrate the dedication of a new Torah last year, but some students need to improve their
kavanah when praying, according to writer Yadin Teitz.

For the love of Torah: Frisch students joyfully celebrate the dedication of a new Torah last year, but some students need to improve their kavanah when praying, according to writer Yadin Teitz.

by Yadin Teitz

It’s 7:50 a.m. The beit midrash, which should have been full by now, is empty with the exception of a few kids silently putting on their tefillin. After a threatening announcement over the loudspeaker the room suddenly fills up with noisy, chattering teens.

A chazzan begins the prayer, but most of the kids are oblivious to the praying and are focused on their conversations. A teacher tells the kids to put on tefillin. The kids then put on their tefillin and sit down in their seats. They stare at the ceiling, the floor, the chair or they whisper quietly to their neighbor. The teachers go around reminding such kids to at least have a siddur on their laps so it looks like they

might be davening. So they sit with their siddur and tefillin and don’t daven. When the kids are told to stand, they stand. When they aren’t, they sit.

Fast-forward half an hour to the end of davening. The chazzan reaches Aleinu or Kaddish, the end of davening, and on cue the kids begin yanking off their tefillin and resume talking (if they ever stopped). When the chazzan says the final word, and even before that, students rush to leave.
This scenario is not unique to one or two schools. The lack of davening is a major problem in elementary and high schools throughout the United States and possibly throughout the world. I don’t think that the kids who don’t daven are bad people or that they have no interest in Judaism. In fact, in 2006 Bnai Brith Youth Organization conducted a survey of 1,153 Jewish teenagers and found that 67 percent would like to better connect with their religion. So kids do have an interest in davening; the problem is they’re not motivated. “I am bored out of my mind during davening,” one male student exclaimed. “I don’t want to talk to Hashem, I want to talk to my friends.”

Davening is so important in Judaism. It is the way to develop a relationship with Hashem. It is a way to unite with all the Jews and thank Hashem for all He has done. Most important, it is a way to praise Hashem and to ask Him for help.

There are many kids that daven without understanding what they are saying or without kavanah (spiritual intention). They are just reading the words.

Rabbi Yitzchak Halberstam, a rabbi at The Frisch School, offers an approach to improve kavanah. “We should revert to our original format of having individuals say their own words instead of those printed in the siddur,” he said. “Keeping the regular outline of the amida but making up our own words for each tefilla could go a long way.” This approach can help the kids who already daven, but not the kids who don’t daven.

What can be done to inspire them? Should kids be forced to daven against their will? Is this better than not davening at all?

Teens need to start davening by themselves without being forced. One of the major problems with forcing anybody to do anything is that as soon as the person is no longer being forced, they no longer do the thing. This relates to davening as well. When the kids aren’t forced to daven, they most likely will stop davening when they get the chance.

In order to solve this problem young kids should be taught a love of davening. Hopefully, this love of davening will stay with the child forever. There are two ways to give kids a love of davening. One approach is to give incentives. There is a tradition among some chasidic families to pour honey on Hebrew letters. When the child learns the letter, he licks off the honey and learns that learning is sweet. Another tradition is to give kids candy. My great-grandfather used to sprinkle real coins on my grandfather’s head when he learned Torah so that my grandfather would have a love of learning.
Many Modern Orthodox Jews follow the opinion of the Rambam, who believed that the practice of giving incentives is a waste. Rather, the kids should be inspired to daven by their heritage. They have the opportunity to follow in the footsteps of their forefathers, reaching back to the very creators of prayer, the patriarchs.

“The kids should realize that they have the amazing opportunity to talk to Hashem, the God. That should be enough reason for them to daven,” said Rabbi Rafael G. Grossman, the rabbi of Synagogue on the Palisades in Fort Lee, N.J.

Rabbi Halberstam has another idea. “We find precedent in Torah for prayer by prophets, kings, and other leaders who beseech Hashem and have their requests realized,” he said. Perhaps this idea of Jewish leaders getting their prayers answered will encourage kids to daven.

I began my davening career by simply saying the words and not really understanding or caring what they meant. Gradually, I moved on to read the English translation and I realized how beautiful the prayers are. Over the past two years, I have begun to daven with more and more kavanah now that I understand what the tefillot are about. I enjoy davening because it is a chance for me to thank Hashem for all the great things He has done for me. The words of the tefillot perfectly sum up my thanks to Hashem.

Schools must teach kids the importance of davening. In the beginning of the year, Frisch had a speaker talk about how Hashem saved him from dying of leukemia. He then realized how important davening is and encouraged the students to daven.

Last year, we heard a speaker who had his house partially destroyed and his family injured by rockets in Sderot. He encouraged the kids to daven and to thank Hashem for the good lives that they have. I am sure that these speakers inspired at least a few kids to daven. And a few more kids that daven can inspire their friends to daven and so on. Other schools that don’t already do these types of activities should certainly begin.

Then the scene in the beit midrash will be different. At 7:45 a.m. kids will have their tefillin on and will be davening with kavanah. The teachers and principals will have no need to punish kids that don’t daven, because everyone will be davening. The room will be silent with each person concentrating on their conversation with Hashem and not on their conversation with their neighbor. Everyone will build a great relationship with Hashem. They will enjoy davening and will be inspired by it.

Yadin Teitz is a freshman at The Frisch School in Paramus, N.J.

Signup for our weekly email newsletter here.

Check out the Jewish Week's Facebook page and become a fan! And follow the Jewish Week on Twitter: start here.

Westchester Jewish Conference

Westchester’s Jewish Community Relations Organization