Abigail in Love (Maybe)

The Book of Love

You know the Elvis Costello song, Everyday I Write the Book?

I could listen to that song every minute of every day and never get bored.

Even if I can't quite make out his words, there is something about that song that gets under my skin and I think it has everything to do with his…glasses.

You know what I'm a talking about: those big, black clunkers that take over his face with all the subtlety of a jet bomber.

What Not To Do On A Dating Sabbatical

Technically, I'm on a dating sabbatical.

Which means the next couple of weeks are all about getting in touch with the inner me. The "me" inside the "me," if you know what I mean. The "me" that is wearing a very teeny-tiny pair of glasses.

So, to be technical, I wasn't really breaking my sabbatical when a girlfriend called to update me on the set-up she had orchestrated.  I mean, she was the one who called me!

A Jerusalem Love Story, Minus the Love

I finally finished the A.B. Yehoshua novel I was reading, which freed me up to read the Meyer Levin novel I found at my favorite used bookstore in Jerusalem. Titled, The Spell of Time: a Tale of Love in Jerusalem, its subtitle was inspiring, if you know what I mean. 

In other words, I was hoping this tale of love in Jerusalem would rub off on me.

Beyond that, Meyer Levin was a Chicagoan, or, as Augie March would say, he was an “American, Chicago born.”  Me, too! Or rather, I am an American, Waukegan, Illinois, born.  But why split hairs?

The Tally: My Love Life, Date by Date

Forty-eight hours into my dating sabbatical. Or is it more? I’ve never been very good with numbers.

With no romantic possibilities lined up, there is nothing for me to do but look backwards. And with the movie of my romantic life playing in an endless loop before me, I have a chance to review all of my past likes and loves, mess-ups and near misses.

What went wrong? I ask myself. What can I do better?

Or more specifically, have I made a career out of rejecting men?

Says the Single Gal to her Married Friends: Just Say No to Fairy Tales!

Day Two of my Dating Sabbatical and I’m having a rough go of it.

No checking Jdate, I tell myself, sitting on my hands.

No emailing the friend of a friend of a friend to introduce me to a guy someone once mentioned she wanted me to meet - but never followed up on.

Just sit back and be! I counsel. Breathe! 

Goodbye Dates! Shalom Sabbatical!

“You need to take a break,” a friend tells me.

Just three weeks, she says. Believe her, I will feel better.

“You will be able to re-charge a bit so that when you are ready to get back into it, you will not feel so despondent,” is her reasoning.

But I seem to be incapable of actually taking the dating Sabbatical I talk so much about.

Have I Got a Guy for You (Not!)

“I met a guy I think you’d like.”

Words every single gal likes to hear, right?

But what if after these words are uttered, and you heartily agree to being introduced to said perfect gentlemen, you then you sit back and ...wait.

And wait some more.

I mean, how many times can you remind someone that they were the one who promised to set you up in the first place without looking like a total pathetic loser? Or worse, like you’re desperate?

The Joys of Marriage or How to Scare a Single Gal to Death

We were discussing my favorite topic: Bad breath.

I mean, people! Are you aware of just how many folks there are walking around with stink emanating from their mouths like fire from a dragon? Ick Dot Com! It’s enough to make me want to wear one of those masks people in Asia sport when they have a cold. Only mine would be a stink-deflector mask. Has anyone invented this yet?

As I was saying, I was relaying to some friends a very scholarly story of how another friend works with an anorexic woman whose breath, she reported back to me, smells just awful on account of the fact that she never eats.

“And she’s married, too!” I told the ladies present, both married themselves. “I mean, doesn’t her husband say to her, ‘Damn, woman! You’ve got some stanky breath!”

“But married people don’t kiss,” said one, rather too matter of factly for my taste.

“Married people don’t kiss???””

Single Jewish Man Seeks Single Jewish Female to...Quote

"I AM LOOKING FOR YOU," began the note the faceless guy on Jdate sent me.

The rest of his message sounded eerily familiar.

"WOMEN and not a GIRL, yet also playful and with a young spirit. Someone with integrity and a sense of who he is. Someone who is a citizen of the world. Someone who makes me laugh. Someone who doesn’t hate my dog. Someone interesting. Unless I’m looking for the wrong things? You tell me. Surprise me."

In other words, this gentleman had copied and pasted the "what I'm looking for" from my own profile on another dating site and sent it back to me as his words on Jdate. The only thing he changed (in the first sentence) was the male to female form.

He didn’t even use quote marks.

A Tale of Love and Garlic

It’s lunchtime and all the ladies on my floor have scrunched into one room, digging into salads, which doesn’t mean we won’t be pouncing on the apple cake someone has so thoughtlessly brought in and put enticingly on the table.

We will. If only because we don’t want to hurt her feelings.

As the room fills with chatter, I’m somewhere else.

A certain someone is coming over for dinner and I have no idea what to make.

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