Dershowitz Reportedly Rejected Israel’s U.N. Envoy Job


(JTA) — Alan Dershowitz reportedly turned down an offer to serve as Israel’s ambassador to the United Nations.
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Foreign Minister Avigdor Lieberman assiduously courted the well-known Jewish-American lawyer, Yediot Achronot reported Tuesday. If he had accepted, Dershowitz , 72, would have had to make aliyah.

Obama Calls Netanyahu To Discuss Talks


(JTA) — President Obama called Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to discuss talks with the Palestinians.
The conversation took place late Monday morning, White House spokesman Robert Gibbs said.

Home of Tikkun’s Rabbi Lerner Vandalized


(JTA) —  The northern California home of Rabbi Michael Lerner, editor of the progressive Tikkun magazine, was vandalized Sunday night. Posters attached to his door and the fence around his Berkeley home attack Lerner personally, and liberals and progressives, as being supporters of terrorism and “Islamofascism,” according to the magazine.

South African Jewish Leaders Meet with Goldstone


(JTA) —  A delegation of senior South African Jewish communal leaders met with Richard Goldstone Monday to discuss Goldstone’s participation in the United Nations inquiry into the Gaza war.

The meeting was held as part of a deal brokered  between the South African Zionist Federation and Goldstone that allowed the judge to attend his grandson’s bar mitzvah on May 1 in the absence of threatened protests. Goldstone, who lives in America, initially had said he would not attend.

Rubashkin: I Should Not Have Entered The Family Business


(JTA) — With a federal judge expected to issue a sentence in his case later this month, former kosher meatpacking executive Sholom Rubashkin expressed regret for his actions last week in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. U.S. District Court Chief Judge Linda Reade reportedly indicated that she will issue her ruling May 27.

At least 10 witnesses spoke on Rubashkin’s behalf, including a psychiatrist who interviewed him in jail. The psychiatrist said Rubashkin expressed regret for the harm he had caused himself and others, the Des Moines Register reported.

Hamas Leader Condemns Shalit Video


(JTA) —  A senior Hamas leader has condemned the cartoon video released by the terrorist organization’s armed wing showing Gilad Shalit returning in a coffin.
Mahmoud al-Zahar, a co-founder of Hamas on Monday condemned the video showing the captive Israeli soldier’s father wandering deserted streets looking at billboard after billboard of Israeli leaders promising to work for his son’s release.

J Street Ad Responds To Wiesel


(JTA) —  J Street is placing full-page ads in Jewish weekly newspapers on the topic of securing Jerusalem as the capital of Israel under a two-state solution.
The ad, to be placed in seven newspapers in cities with large Jewish populations, features an Op-Ed written by former Israeli Cabinet minister and political commentator Yossi Sarid. It comes in response to an open letter by Nobel laureate Elie Wiesel published in an ad in several newspapers earlier this month.

Museum Launches Fund To Honor Slain Guard


(JTA) — The U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum has established an endowment fund in memory of Stephen Tyrone Johns was gunned down last June 10 by 88-year-old white supremacist James Wenneker von Brunn of Maryland during an attempted raid on the museum. Johns died from his injuries shortly after the attack.

Alta Kocker Humor, For All Ages

Staff Writer

Posing in a black-banded khaki-colored fedora as kitschy klezmer Muzak introduces his routine, Neil Lawner gestures loudly with outstretched arms and tells a joke about newlywed Luigi, who rode a train to Florida with his new bride Virginia, and tragically, mistook the station stop “Norfolk” for a prohibition in his marriage consummation.

Old jokes, old joke-tellers: Jewish humor hits the Web.
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