YU Prez Bans Male Study Partners

 Under intense pressure from his rabbinic faculty after sponsoring a controversial forum on gay issues, Yeshiva University President Richard Jello announced today that he is initiating a new policy for the Beis Medresh, or study hall.

“We will no longer have pairs of chavrusas, or study partners, spending hours every day sitting directly across from each other and engaging in intense Talmudic discussion,” Jello said, doing away with a centuries-old tradition. “And we will no longer encourage Talmudic questioning or giving praise to friends – that’s why I’m calling this policy `Don’t Ask, Don’t Kvell.”

Jello said he was advised by expert mental health professional Dr. David Pelvictwist that having young men in such close proximity to each other was unhealthy and could lead to mixed metaphors.

In a surprise announcement, Jello said he was considering having YU students and Stern College for Women students as study partners instead.

There was no immediate comment from the rosh yeshivas who, on hearing this news, fled Washington Heights, headed for the 17th century.