Charlie Sheen went on the Howard Stern radio show last week to once again attack the head honchos at CBS for canceling his show prematurely and to blame his wild and eccentric behavior on a “simple, small calendar error.”
He claimed his weekend binge was due to his thinking that Purim was on the 14th day of the First Adar when, in fact, it is a month later, in Adar II.
“I like to celebrate all religions’ holidays that are marked by binge drinking and/or other bad or licentious behavior,” declared Sheen, “and Mardi Gras and Purim are right up there.”
Sheen claimed that his drinking was inspired by the custom of “ad d’lo yada” — being so inebriated so as not capable of distinguishing between Haman and Mordechai — something he learned about from Madonna.
In addition, he claims that the two women he was with were reenacting the beauty pageant of the Purim story, one acting out the role of Esther, the other playing the role of a competitor in the contest, the lesser known “Heather, the Cheerleader.” Charlie had given each of them a number of tasks to perform to help him decide who would become his “Queen.”
“People jump to awful conclusions about me,” said distraught Sheen. “They think that just because I called [“Two-and-a-half Men” show creator] Chuck Lorre, by his Hebrew name, Chaim Levine, I’m an anti-Semite. Nothing could be further from the truth! I love the Jews and celebrate their holidays — at least Purim, which I understand comes every week.”
He said he was calling Lorre by his Hebrew name, Chaim, to coax him back to his Jewish roots.
Meanwhile, the Bet Din of the Rabbinical Counsel of America has officially terminated the conversion of Ginger Lynn, a girlfriend of Charlie Sheen and former porn star. Lynn acknowledged that she had tweeted friends from the Hustler Club in New York on a Friday night but insists she thought the club was within the eruv and that tweeting was permitted on the Sabbath.
“That’s what the day school kids told me,” she insisted.