Pirates Attack Kosher Cruise Ship

 Somalia—On Sunday night, Somali pirates hijacked a kosher cruise ship sailing in the Caribbean Sea.

The passengers, who were held hostage for three days, were Jewish singles on a two-week pleasure cruise.

The pirates gained easy access to the ship because they boarded during Masquerade Night. Crew members assumed the hijackers were merely passengers disguised as pirates.

By Wednesday, the pirates had abandoned the vessel and returned to Somalia.

“Five of the women insisted on marrying me,” said pirate Long John Silver from his home in Mogadishu. “They kept asking where my buried treasure was.”

Another pirate said one female followed him everywhere aboard ship, insisting that she knew a “top New York ophthalmologist” for his eye-patch condition. “She also made appointments with her osteopath for my wooden leg and hook hand,” he added.

The pirates fled the ship after partaking in a “4-K buffet” that featured kugel, knishes, kasha, and kishke.