Jewish Swine Flu Discovered

Atlanta—The Center for Disease Control warned this week that a new swine flu had begun to manifest in parts of the world.

Labeled the “Jewish swine flu,” this strain is thought to be even more potent than the Mexican variety.

“We’re just learning about JSF,” said Dr. Lane D. Parsha, head of the CDC. “We don’t know yet what causes the disease, but we do recognize its symptoms.”

Parsha said symptoms include:

•    wishing “Hog sameach” on Jewish holidays

•    attending boar mitzvahs

•    becoming a ham radio operator

•    wearing pigtails for peyos

•    studying Porky Avos

•    referring to the former Israeli prime minister as Menachem Bacon

•    eating chazzerai

Parsha added that a kosher vaccine for JSF is currently being developed by the inventor of Bacos.