El Al Hires Mikvah Ladies In Lieu Of Full Body Scanners
Tue, 03/15/2011
Washing out for troublemakers: New squad of security workers at El Al pledge to not only monitor but purify their passengers.
Washing out for troublemakers: New squad of security workers at El Al pledge to not only monitor but purify their passengers.

Tel Aviv — In an effort to both save money on expensive equipment and satisfy their increasingly religious clientele, El Al Israel Airlines announced today that it has hired Mikvah Ladies to serve as security officers to scan all women travelers.

In light of the new security measures, El AL international passengers are urged to show up at least three hours prior to their flight with their nails clipped and their hair combed. Each traveler will enter the plane through a different door to ensure privacy.

Business and First Class travelers will be asked to dip three times into Coach, and recite the blessing thanking God for not making them fly steerage.

Coach passengers will dip three times into their lukewarm teacups and praise God for creating them according to Her will.