Jewish Backward Exposes ‘New’ Sex Scandal
Tue, 02/19/2013
Jacob and Tamar: Old story comes to light.
Jacob and Tamar: Old story comes to light.

NEW YORK—On the heels of its recent expose of a sex scandal at Yeshiva University’s high school that allegedly took place more than 40 years ago, the Jewish Backward newspaper has now dug even further into the past to uncover an incident that dates back to Biblical times.

The scandal, described in chapter 38 of the Book of Genesis, revolves around Judah, son of the holy patriarch Jacob, who had relations with his own daughter-in-law, Tamar, whom he mistook for a prostitute.

“It’s our job to report these crimes, no matter how ancient,” said Itzy Nevertulate, the Backward’s managing editor. “Besides, sex sells papers.”

Asked why the newspaper waited until now to reveal the scandal, he explained, “Recently, an ancient manuscript was discovered in Israel that is believed to have been written by Judah himself. Scholars think the text may actually have been a popular song in ancient days. It begins, ‘The son’ll come out, Tamar, oh,’ and continues, ‘Tamar, oh, Tamar, oh, I love you, Tamar, oh.’”