For Many Orthodox Teens, ‘Half Shabbos’ Is A Way Of Life
Texting on Saturdays seen as increasingly common ‘addiction.’
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Staff Writer
At a recent campgrounds Shabbaton sponsored by a local Modern Orthodox high school, the teenage participants broke into small groups after the meals, as is usual, to talk with their friends.
On their cell phones.
Of the 17 students who attended the weekend program, said 17-year-old Julia, a junior at the day school, most sent text messages on Shabbat – a violation of the halachic ban on using electricity in non-emergency situations.
“Only three [of the 17 students] didn’t text on Shabbos,” Julia says. Most did it “out in the open,” sitting at picnic tables. “They weren’t hiding it.”
The students at the Shabbaton were not the exception for their age group. According to interviews with several students and administrators at Modern Orthodox day schools, the practice of texting on Shabbat is becoming increasingly prevalent, especially, but not exclusively, among Modern Orthodox teens.
It’s a literally hot-button issue that teachers and principals at yeshiva day schools, whose academic year ends this week, acknowledge and deal with it in both tacit and oblique ways. For the most part, they extol the virtues of keeping Shabbat rather than chastising those who violate it.
The practice has become so widespread – some say half of Modern Orthodox teens text on Shabbat – that it has developed its own nomenclature – keeping “half Shabbos,” for those who observe all the Shabbat regulations except for texting; “gd Shbs,” is the shorthand text greeting that means good Shabbos.
Not surprisingly, because of texting’s high-tech nature, it is the frequent subject of bloggers and discussion groups on the Internet.
Schools are still looking for ways to deal with the issue, how to recognize the extent of the problem without issuing directives that are likely to be ignored.
Bottom line: The teens who text probably won’t stop.
“It’s a big problem,” says Rabbi Steven Burg, international director of the Orthodox Union’s NCSY youth group. Teens who text on Shabbat are an open secret in their schools and social circles, he says.
“Adults don’t know how common it is,” one student at a local yeshiva day school says. “Everyone is doing it.”
Someone who identified himself as PJS wrote last year on the kavvanah.wordpress.com Website of an encounter with Shabbat texters: “On the first night of Rosh Hashanah I was walking home after dinner at friends. Passing through a neighborhood park, I passed a group of clearly frum kids – boys and girls – whose faces were illuminated by the lights from their cell-phones, iPhones etc as they texted away.”
The Shabbat texters, according to anecdotal evidence, include kids who grew up in less-observant homes as well as students from chasidic or so-called black hat backgrounds.
“People have been whispering about it for around a year or so … and only recently have begun about to speak about it out loud,” Rabbi Jay Goldmintz, headmaster at the Ramaz Upper School on the Upper East Side, wrote in a recent column to Ramaz parents.
They Can’t Stop
Open rejection of an Orthodox lifestyle, addiction or susceptibility to peer group conformity?
Orthodox teens’ texting on Shabbat is a little of each, students and administrators tell The Jewish Week. Some teens say they see their parents making their own compromises with the letter or spirit of Jewish law, and don’t think a text message on Shabbat is any different.
Mostly, they can’t stop texting, they say.
“It’s almost a problem of addiction,” says Rabbi Burg. American teens, according to surveys and anecdotal evidence, communicate with their friends during the week primarily by sending text messages on their cell phones. It’s hard to stop for 25 hours, the rabbi says, if they feel everyone else is doing it. “In high school, the world revolves around their friends. Everything is about your friends and your social group.
“They don’t think [texting on Shabbat] is that bad,” Rabbi Burg says.
In an email message, Rabbi Boruch Perton, educational director of the Hebrew Academy of Montreal, added: “The thing about texting is that it can be done anywhere. The bathroom or the bedroom are private places.”
Rabbi Perton said his day school recently tried to enforce a ban on using cell phones during school hours, “When we did take away a phone,” he said, “the amount of pain the student was in was literally unbearable. The parents would beg and scream because they were getting it at home from their kid and just wanted to end their own misery.
“If the students and their parents lose their equilibrium when a phone is taken away for a week, can such a child stop on Shabbos?” the rabbi asks. “I hope so, but do not know.”
Miriam Shaviv, a columnist for the London Jewish Chronicle, wrote recently that Orthodox teens “openly discuss whether they keep ‘half-Shabbos’ or ‘full Shabbos.’ There is apparently no shame attached to this violation.”
Texting on Shabbat has become a frequent subject of on-line discussions: “They are the failures of Modern Orthodoxy or they are the failures of Orthodoxy-lite.” (kavvanah.wordpress.com); “Children will text each other in stealth. Their divine service is external; if no human being sees them, it is as if it hasn’t happened” (Rabbi Steven Pruzansky’s rabbipruzansky.com).
The frumsatire.net Website carried a fictional report that Modern Orthodox rabbis “have begun to consider texting during shul on Shabbos to curb talking,” in order to keep synagogues quiet during religious services.
Teens who text on Shabbat rarely discuss its halachic propriety, said Leah, who identifies herself as Conservadox and attended a Modern Orthodox day school for several years.
“I know it’s breaking Shabbos,” Leah said. “I don’t feel guilty.
“My mother knows – I text her,” to let her mother know her whereabouts.
“It’s definitely a stage” that many teens pass through without necessarily leaving the Orthodox world, said Rachel, a recent graduate of a local yeshiva high school. “It’s not a defiant thing.”
“They still believe in God” and consider themselves Orthodox,” Julia said of her friends who text on Shabbat.
The Orthodox teens who agreed to speak about this subject asked that their full names not be used, lest their parents or teachers or more-observant friends find out.
The Challenge Of Technology
Chani said she is typical. A student at a New York area yeshiva high school, she started texting on Shabbat when she discovered that many of her Orthodox friends were already doing it. “I was just so bored” on Shabbat, she said. “I had nothing to do.”
Though she was going through a crisis of faith, texting on Shabbat was her only lapse from religious observance. “I was not driving” on Shabbat. “I was not eating non-kosher.”
Why did she text, when she wouldn’t do other prohibited acts?
“I had people to text,” she said.
Most of the teens who text on Shabbat do not weigh the halachic and spiritual implications, Chani said – they know it’s wrong, but do it anyway.
Chani stopped texting on Shabbat after three years, when her religious faith deepened. She said she knows many other teens who gave up Shabbat-texting after returning from a post-high school year in Israeli yeshivas.
For many Orthodox teens, keeping “half Shabbos” has apparently achieved the status of Orthodox men who do not wear a kipah on the job or Orthodox women who wear pants or do not cover their hair once married, both considered violations of outright halacha or established Jewish practice.
“If in previous generations the biggest challenge to Sabbath observance was making a living, today it is technology,” Rabbi Goldmintz wrote in his column to Ramaz parents. “These are kids from otherwise shomer Shabbat homes who nevertheless sneak into their rooms or down the street and use their phones or computers to text or tweet with friends. These are not (yet) necessarily kids who are so called ‘off the derech (i.e., who have wandered off the religious path) for they otherwise may not turn on lights or televisions, but they just can’t break the social habit. They keep Shabbat, but not all of it.”
“You can’t say that the kids who text on Shabbat are ‘off the derech,’” said Dr. Michelle Friedman, a psychiatrist who works extensively in the Orthodox community. Texting on Shabbat does not necessarily lead to other violations, she said. “This is a separate category.”
Lower Voltage?
While some teens reportedly rationalize their practice by claiming that texting uses a low level of electricity, thereby reducing the severity of the prohibition, texting is as forbidden on Shabbat as any other use of electricity, Jewish experts in technology say. “Pressing electrical buttons on Shabbat is prohibited. The only justification to permit this is in various security needs or medical conditions,” a spokesman for the Israeli-based Zomet Institute, which deals in matters of halacha and technology, told The Jewish Week in an email message.
“It is universally accepted in the halacha-respecting community that electronics are off-limits on the Sabbath,” said Rabbi Avi Shafran, a spokesman for Agudath Israel of America.
Some observers describe teens as experimenting with the limits of sanctioned and non-sanctioned actions in a Jewish version of the Rumspringa practice in which Amish 16-year-olds are free to engage in banned behavior before formally affiliating with the church and abiding by their community’s norms of behavior.
Texting on Shabbat “is probably more prominent [in the Modern Orthodox community], but it is by no means exclusively there,” Rabbi Goldmintz wrote. “Someone once suggested that it all got started when observant kids signed on after Shabbat and realized how much their non-observant friends had been communicating over Shabbat and they didn’t want to be left out ever again.”
Students from local Orthodox high schools say teachers and administrators usually handle this topic in a subtle way, talking about the beauty of Shabbat rather than ordering an outright ban on Shabbat texting. (Besides Rabbi Goldmintz, none of the rabbis or principals from several local day schools contacted for comment by The Jewish Week returned the newspaper’s messages.)
Preaching to teens would be ineffective, said Julia, who attended the Shabbaton where most of the students texted. “It’s a waste of energy to argue with the kids.”
steve@jewishweek.org
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I'd heard about this but it's truely heartbreaking. I'm sorry for these kids and their parents. Shabbos is a deep metaphysical concept and most of us 90 per cent plus, just aren't getting it. These kids are just expressing what a lot of others feel. Hashem should bless us with the eyes to see what really matters.
Thank you for this article. Just to clarify - not wearing a kippah at work for males is not necessarily halachically prohibited, in the same way as a married woman not covering her hair in public would be. It is more in the realm of accepted communal norms.
The problem is much deeper. The rabies do not understand or want understand technology. There is no prohibition to use electricity. Almost every body has an electronic watch on his arm on shabath. The prohibition is for the switching on and off of incandescent light bulbs and electric equipment ,based on two laws binjan (creating an electric pathway to the power-station) and havarath eish (kindling fire).
Neither of these two principles are in the game when it comes to modern electronics. no heat is produced and no binjan is created with equipment not connected to the electric grid. Therefor using a cell phone on shabath is halagcley not forbidden, problem is the the rabanim do not have the guts to admid it. And wait.... as printed book are a thing of the past, Ipad, ironically the "Kindle", and other electronic book reading devices will be in use by most "frum" jews in a matter of only a few years.
The school takes away the cellphone during school hours, the kids scream and the parents give in and tell the school they don't want to deal with the whining.
Sounds like the problem is not cellphones but spoiled children whose parents don't know how to say no.
This one is easy - take away your kids phones on Fri night, return them on Motz. Same as for the school - if kids use phones during the school day - you confiscate them. Quite frankly, this seems to be indicative of the far more prevalent issue (which also overlaps with our declining school quality) of demanding our kids live up to standards - in school, in their behavior, and in religious practice - and actually stepping in when they don't. And it has to be across all of these areas. If we just get angry when they text on shabat, they will see through it all and the risk of a full OTD rises dramatically.
Our teens engage in far more risky (and more significantly anti-halachic) behavior - and have been for generations. Adult readers who grew up in a religious house - be honest with yourselves about how true to halachah you really were during high school. Just because the social implications for our parents were less severe than for us doesn't change anything.
If "half shabbos" is truly as pervasive as this article indicates, it means that our communities children have seen the hypocrisy of our behaviors, and we have no one else to blame but ourselves.
One more thought - one of the kids has an insightful comment - they are doing this because they are bored. Again - parents - lets ask ourselves if we have really done enough to engage our kids. Do your kids/teens sit with you and your (adult) guests at the shabbat table? Do you make an effort to engage them in a conversation about the parshah, news of the world, topics worthy of the shabbat table - or is it all about the stuff you recently bought (or can't afford), your addition (or the one you can't afford), or yeshiva tuition? Have we made the effort to create and run shabbat afternoon programs that engage our kids or do we just congratulate ourselves on living in a frum neighborhood safe enough for our kids can wander, as we are on our way to a nap.
I largely agree with the comment above. The halachic permissibility of texting--like that of electricity usage in general--is largely debatable and has become more of a political or denominational than religious cause. Whether or not a Jew uses electricity or not on Shabbat has become a way of circling the wagons of practice and defining religious identification, i.e. Conservative versus Orthodox, than a real halachic issue. The problem here is the value of Shabbos. These teenagers do not seem to see the value of tuning out to tune in more fully to Hashem and Hashem's world. The true failing of their religious education has been its inability to instill fervency in religious practice. The legalism of our tradition has supplanted the spirit of its practice.
I grew up Orthodox among "modern Orthodox" people and I never heard about this, though I think almost every "modern" person I know violates halacha in one way or another. It's a shame where the world has gotten to today. There is no holiness and spirituality particularly outside of Israel. It's sad--people worry more about how to keep G-d at bay than about how to please G-d and make Him happy. Unfortunately Mashiach will not come peacefully for Am Yisrael unless we repent...these cases make it look less and less likely...Hashem yishmor.
The article compares this phenomenon to men not wearing a kipa at work and women wearing pants or not covering their hair when married. I think a more direct comparison (both by age group and halachik severity) can be drawn to the notion of a teen deciding whether or not to be "shomer negia". That is at least a rabbinic, if not Bibilical prohibition (depending on what is done and whose opinion you follow) but it is standard for kids to ask each other if they're "shomer" or not. This is the same. The only difference is that Shabbos is so important that we're taken aback more by it than by other issurim.
If the orthodox world tolerates these people breaking Shabbos, when are they going to give the conservative and reform movements the same respect?
Scott Edelman - I'm hoping your question was facetious.
There's a world of difference between, on the one hand, not going berserk and doing things that are, clearly, not going to be helpful, while hoping the kids will grow out of their bad behavior, and, on the other hand, accepting a "movement" that says the unacceptable is acceptable, often with no more justification than the fact that it's what they feel like doing.
The kids acknowledge they should not be doing what they're doing. That puts them in a far better category than the conservative and reform, who don't think there's anything wrong with what they're doing.
BTW, don't think I'm condemning PEOPLE who consider themselves members of those "movements." The biggest difference between the Orthodox and others, IMHO, is that the Orthodox do not acknowledge that there are different categories of Jews, only different categories of practice, and we understand that one's practice can change as quickly as one's attitude. There's just Jews who do more, and Jews who do less, and whom we hope will do more soon.
That's why these kids deserve a level of respect the "movements" you mentioned don't: even if they don't FEEL like they're doing something wrong, they would not publicly SAY it's okay. Everyone has their private sins; it's why we have Yom Kippur. The problem comes when you say it's okay (or even preferable) to do a sin.
Simple enough?
The "orthodox world" does not tolerate this. The kids sneak it.
What part of doing ordinary work doesn't the community understand? And this also brings out a violation of the commandment of idolatry! Who is the parent and who is the child? Having Torah and DOING torah are two different things it seems.
It is not a violation of halach not to wear a kipah on the job. I expect ignorance like this in the comments section, but not in an article in this paper.
On the one hand, I do not support being over on halacha. On the other hand, I support frum kids, even if they text on Shabbat or are not "shomer". Neither issue is a d'orisa. With texting, I don't remember any Rishon making any comment. That is to say, with texting, the children are only in disagreement with their pulpit rabbi or their parents, not Judaism. Which leads to the question: may a frum Jew disagree with a decision of a later Posek, or must one swallow everything whole?
Maybe, just like the game Monopoly has a Get Out Of Jail Free card, maybe we should issue our kids a Ignore One Later Rabbinic Decision card, to be used with discretion, as long as they remain On The Derich.
This major problem exists because of parents like the 2 "anonymous" ones that posted above claiming that using electricity is not a halachic problem. Parents that are this ignorant to halacha of course are going to have children that have no problem violating halacha. Aside from the issur of using electricity, there is MUCH more involved here. There is an issur of writing on Shabbos as well. That not only applies to writing by hand. Typing on a computer or texting is also a form a writing -- although admittedly, possibly only a dirabanan of writing (and if you are going to tell me that it is only a derabanan, well, so is eating a chicken cheese burger -- or even a meat cheeseburger that wasn't cooked with the meat and cheese together -- and none of you "orthodox" parents would ever serve your children a chicken cheese burger...). Then, there is the issur of lifnei iver lo titen michshol -- these teens are not only sinning themselves, but they are directly causing others to sin as well -- causing others to read the message (scroll down, press buttons) and causing others to respond...
"Almost a problem of addiction?" This is a definite problem of addiction. Even most smokers are not so addicted that they feel compelled to violate Shabbos in order to smoke. And to compare chilul Shabbos to hair covering and other hot button issues merely belittles the problem.
Unlike most addictive behaviors, texting is entirely social and it could very well be that no one wants to be left out. But I would go further and blame not peer pressure or the supposed hypocrisy of parents, but the addictive nature of the activity itself and the obvious failure of the educational system to imbue children with real spirituality. An inner appreciation of the seriousness of the transgression seems to be the only thing that alleviates the behavior, and apparently this is only provided during the Israel experience.
Handheld electronics definitely DO create heat - ever kept a laptop computer on your lap? Lots of smart people who are expert in halacha and electronics have thought about this one.
B"H
I don't think that you are correct to say that "binyan" does not apply here. You don't need to connect a device to the power grid to build a circuit-- all you need is a battery and a piece of metal. In accordance with your statement, the physical principles behind Halacha should be taught to today's youth, and the full observance of Halacha should be emphasized. The questions we need to address are: What draws teenagers to texting? Why aren't they drawn to serve G-d with the same excitement?
Also, I don't think that books will ever become "a thing of the past"-- certainly not for me.
As a gradual transitioner from Conservative to Orthodox, I can testify that it was incredibly difficult to turn off my computer on Shabbat. This was before texting, instant messaging, etc. My 2nd grader, unbeknownst to me, brought home a program from his friend in day school and installed it on my Apple IIE. So, I turned on the computer to do some work on Saturday afternoon, and the screen lit up with a bright red stop sign, "STOP! IT'S SHABBAT!". That was the last time I used the computer on Shabbos. I thought it would blow up!
Seriously, as a physician, I am still tethered to my phone when I am on-call, but the other weeks, I really look forward to the disconnect. There must be a way to impress the teens with this.
The Sabbath rules were created and are enforced by Rabbis and have very little to do with any commandment as strict as rabbinic silliness.
Worse yet is the inability of people to not be in constant contact with others. The feeling of being out of touch is making kids anxious. This is new and is enabled by parents.
Why are we only talking about electricity when this is clearly writing?
In full disclosure I should start by saying that I am one of those kids who once was on but is now "off the derech". Having said that we should be clear that electricity on Shabbat is permissible and the rabbinate looked for a way to make electricity prohibited on Shabbat in order to 'preserve the sanctity of the day'. These are not my words but the words of many orthodox rabbis who had the both the conviction of their belief and courage to discuss (a rare combination these days). Having your conclusion and looking for justifications is not scientific. Before you say this is religion not science you should consider that the scientific method bears a strong resemblance to the talmud.
Instead of having activities that involved electricity that were permitted and ones that were not everything was prohibited. Maybe our youth is seeing that there is just too much contradiction (not to even mention the nonsense that goes on when people ask non-Jews to use electricity for them). From a halachic perspective typing and texting would be extremely problematic because it (in my opinion) would fall in with writing which is clearly an Av Melacha - the voltage used is irrelevant. Turning on a light which was described as a clear violation in, the article, really doesn't fall into any of the Av Melachot.
While the kids might be getting the details wrong, their principles seem accurate...then again maybe they just don't want to be left out of the loop.
Either way I hope this stirs real honest debate as to the role of electricity on Shabbat and a search for truth and meaning instead of the "my rabbi said so" Judaism of the past 50+ years.
The justification for banning any electricity at all on Shabbat is worse than flimsy. Anybody who knows a modicum of physics and chemistry will tell you that it makes no sense to say that electricity is fire. Moreover, 'completing a circuit = boneh' is likewise ridiculous: are you 'completing' a house when you open and close a door? Because that is exactly what that switch on the wall does; the house and 'pathway' both exist regardless of whether the door or switch are open or closed. (If you were crazy, you could argue something about p'siq reshe if you know your get your electricity by burning fossil fuels; the rest of us understand that your flipping the switch and some worker somewhere turning a valve or shoveling in some coal have so little to do with each other that it's not something to think about.)
Incandescent lighting, which is going out the door anyway, is not 'mabh'ir' because the filament is not *iron*, and even if it were, it is not being heated up for the purpose of tempering in water. Quite the contrary - the filament needs to be in a vacuum to, ya know, work effectively.
Now, of course, certain appliances may still have issues (e.g. what if you talk an elevator, and it chimed a bell each time the door opened? That's a p'siq reshe), but the problem then lies with the appliance, not the electricity itself. Also, you could argue, I suppose, that you should not use appliance x "mishum shevut" but that is, of course, highly subjective. If we don't want our kids to text, what 'mishum shevut' means needs to be made clear in each household at an early age.
Keeping a man's head covered all the time, or wearing ssissit qatan all the time, are also not misvot. Headcoverings need only be worn during the amida, and ssissit need only be worn on a four-cornered garment.
i have been grappling with this issue for a while now, especially when high school kids sleep over my house over the weekend, and are texting and I am not their parent and have no authority to tell them what not to do, yet their texting on shabbat disrespects the sanctity of the day in my home, and at the same time puts my daughter in a difficult position in not wanting to stand out alone from her friends. I spoke with several rabbis and educators to no avail until one rabbi came up with a really practical idea that i have since put into effect. I have a mukza basket on my window sill in my dining room and before i light shabbat candles everyone in my household puts their cellphones in it whether we have guests or not, it has become our weekly ritual. the kids were resistant at first but like everything else quickly became used to it, so there was no need to hide them etc,, and any guests were intrigued by our new 'minhag' and complied aswell. of course there are those few that choose now not to sleep over on weekends because in our house,, there's no texting because all the phones are in the muktza basket.....
Interesting that the only prohibition discussed is the use of electricity - and not all poskim are unanimous that use of electricity is esh - fire - and forbidden on Shabbat, regardless of what some may say. Nobody considers a more serious issue: "KETIVAH," or "WRITING." Texting or tweeting involves writing, and this is a clear melakhah, forbidden on Shabbat!
Why has electricity, something unknown until modern times, becomes the defining yardstick of observance? There are 39 avot melakhah, categories of forbidden Shabbat activity, and electricity may or may not be included under one of them.
It isn't only the Halachic point of view which forbids this but also the Rabbinic teaching which shows us that some things should'nt be done on shabbat becuase it is'nt 'Shbosstic' which is also a big thing in Jewish practice. I belive it is the first step in "going of the Derech" because if the child can't hold himself here from texting the time he will do worse things, morraly and Halachly.
Since when does a women not covering her hair go against Halacha or established customs? In many mainstream modern orthodox synagogues most observant women do not cover their hair? Why has what is optional
become a litmus test?
The issue with texting, beyond the halachic question is that it clearly is not in the spirit of Shabbos. Then again , it is antisocial on weekdays also. What is so important in our personal lives that it cannot wait for a personal conversation?
Of course this is incorrect. The use of electricity and the ignition of electricity are two separate issues. Although when electricity was first used in the common household there was some debate among the Halachic authorities as to if the prohibition of turning on electricity is of rabbinic or of biblical origin, there was hardly any opinion at all that it was PERMITTED. As of two generations ago, all authorities agreed that in practice it should be treated like a biblical prohibition.
Please do some more research next time.
You have made a mistake. The issue of Binyan when it comes to electricity has nothing to do with the power grid, but rather it is a function of connecting the local electrical circuit contained within the actual device, which occurs every time that a button is pressed.
"Half Shabbat"? Oh please. It's terms like these that sugar-coat it into being more acceptable.
You can't be 'a little bit pregnant' and you can't text throughout Shabbat and still expect to be called Shomer Shabbat.
While use of electricity is a "modern" phenomenon, the act of WRITING is NOT. In fact it is explicitly listed in Mishnah Shabbat 7:2 as one of the 39 categories of "halachic actions" (i.e. "melacha") prohibited on the Sabbath. "Texting" may not technically qualify as a Biblical prohibition, but it would seem to be dangerously dancing quite close to the fire.
Teach students (and all Jews, frankly) how to think intelligently and accurately about halachah, and they will decide for themselves how they will act. That's the best you can do, and often the most effective approach. The greatest enemy here is "ignorance"; "Spiritual Boredom" (to use Dr. Erica Brown's phrase) is simply ignorance's consequent.
So, "b'kitzur", texting on Shabbat is o.k. because it's not "really" using electricity, just like a married woman, who has thin, stringy hair covers her's with someone else's beautiful, thick, stylish, sexy hair. Voila - now that same married woman looks beautiful and sexy and desirable to anyone who sees her. Is that the "kavanah" of a married woman covering her head?
Religious observance generally begins with a blind obeying of the rules (just like the original "na'aseh v'nishma") As time goes by and children are old enough to question things, they do. We cannot and should not expect children to continue to blindly observe halakha that they do not understand or believe in - as such, we need to carefully teach them the halakha and especially teach them what it means to us.
I disagree with the commenter who said parents should take away cellphones away before Shabbat - kids need to learn to make decisions and not have every temptation removed.
Faith is a very difficult thing to instill in a child - I don't even know if it's something we teach or something people are born with the ability to have... Do we really want our children to be observant at all costs, even at the cost of doing something they really don't believe in?
There may be many solutions to this problem, some might work on some teens, some might not work at all. What can surely make a difference, if we all say (even just) one perek of Tehillim on Shabbos and ask Hashem to elighten them, it will for sure help.
A woman not covering her hair is violating Halacha.
Jeremy- you are a hundred percent right. When it becomes a social norm to be "shomer" or not, or a "Half-Shabbos" or "Full-Shabbos" observer, it denotes a choice that we do not actually halachically have. In general, high school teenagers should not have cell phones at their disposal all day and night- they should be for emergency calling of parents when going out alone in the evening- and the problem would not start. And yes, my 16-year-old sister and 18-year-old brother do not own cell phones. I am living in this world...
Most Jews don't keep an electronic-free Shabbat. That's the reality of living in the U.S. This article gives motivation to keep the electronics off from Friday night to Havdalah. Like anything else, our lifestyles are designed for failure unless we plan ahead.
The Issur of electricity is not USING it !! We are allowed to use a refrigerator, we are allowed to use clocks, lights, fans, air conditioners, ect etc The Issur pertains to Active vs Passive !! Can you ACTIVELY turn on a lgith? NO--PASSIVELY (via a timer, or dawn/dusk sensor) it can be turned on, or you can even leave it on, such as a fridge or air con unit....
Scott....yoi answered your own question. Tolerance and respect are 2 different things. Reject the sin, love the sinner.
Scott....you answered your own question. Tolerance and respect are 2 different things. Reject the sin, love the sinner.
Texting on Shabbat is NOT chet!! Enjoying the technology that Hashem gave us is not a melachah, it is an ONEG SHABBAT! B"H
Amazing how the orthodox world calls these young people Jews, while at the same time calling Masorti Jews who are Shomer shabbat Non-Jews. A bit of hand waving and orthodox Jews can do anything they want and still pretend to be the only Jews in the World.
Personally, I find that quite offensive.
Because one situation is a social issue that is recognized as being halachically wrong by the teens themselves when they refer to it as "half Shabbos" showing that there is a level of remorse and realization of chillul Shabbat even if this is a serious issue. The Conservative and Reform movements don't deserve respect for discarding Halacha as the sole guide to Jewish life and embracing some type of social Judeo hybrid religion as their primary source of Jewish observance.
There is a huge problem with what people term "Modern Orthodoxy". A cardiologist who apent 4 years in college, 4 years in med school etc., but wears dark suits, and perhaps a black hat on Shabbat, is not considered "Modern". A High School graduate, who drives a cab, and eats milchigs in a restaurant that has no Hechsher, is considered "Modern". Methinks what is termed Modern Orthodoxy is neither.
What is missing today, is the "gray hat", the "blue hat", etc. Yeshivot and Day Schools are often barely equipped to produce fully observant boys and girls, who are all reasonably well educated. Charedi Orthodoxy has almost compltely dismissed the secular world, while groups that attend services solely on Saturday mornings, are raising a generation of "Amei Haarets". We need th emiddle ground, Sadly, it is lacking.
What is extra sad is that though parents are spending extra tens of thousands of dollars to send their kids to MO high schools, the schools are clearly not making all that great an impression on the kids.
This is certainly a severe issue that must be dealt with. Parents need to stop being their child's best friend and instead be their parents! Control their cellphone use both in and out of school. Take away their cellphones before Shabbos and give them back afterwards. In school, at the beginning of each class, as the students walk in they should be forced to put their phones on silent and give them to the teacher who will return them after class so that the students can still make any important phone calls or texts in between classes. That in it of itself would get rid of the issue of addiction, the issue of feelings of "missing out", and rid am yisroel of this terrible plague!
personally I refuse to use a cellphone at any time - including during the week because its damage factor in bitul zman, potential for lashon hara and just plain naarishkeit weigh out ways its rare value. I don't blame the cellphone - it's a tool to be used or abused - usually abused.
Before I'm marked down as being "behind the times", against technology" or "overfrum" I should note that I tend to be cutting edge technology in other areas and that I'm a strong believer in using educational television as a means to expand my children's education. However whenever I find my kids saying things like "please, I HAVE to watch this show" or other signs of addiction to tv or to a given program I put them on a diet of that program. Do they yell and scream? sure, sometimes. So? Kids need boundaries and they need them set from a young age. Giving into them on the grounds of screaming or begging only reinforces that behavior because they know its just a matter of time till you break.
The question is why do these kids have cellphones to text on? Are they surgeons who might get called in on an emergency? perhaps they don't want to miss a multi-million dollar deal? Kids don't need cellphones and their addictive and harmful use is well-known. So why does society say "give your kids phones or you're depriving them (yes, I've been told that) but if I give them drugs I'll be censured as a bad parent?!
learn to set limits and be an example yourself and your kids should turn out fine. Give them whatever they want "because all their friends are doing it" and don't be shocked if they end up like all their friends.
Thank you for this article on an important subject. I think it is a passing stage in these teens, but nevertheless must be dealt with.
There are three issues here. The first is that parents and schools are afraid to be Parents or Responsible Educational Administrators. Let's follow the example of a Yeshiva in New York that has a no cell phone rule. Any student who gets caught with a cell phone - the cell phone goes into a special mikveh - first problem solved. Ban cell phone use on school property and enforce the ban - end of problem. Parents - take away the cell phone on Friday and return it on Monday morning - watch what will happen - your children will not die and maybe you'll find time to talk to them. Parents can take the lead by not looking at their blackberry during dinner or by shutting off all electronics for dinner (but of course the fathers have to be home for dinner and the mothers or it won't work - but that's a different issue).
Second issue is the children following their parents lead by bending the rules of Shabbos. I'm sure that it's not only the laws of Shabbos that these parents and children are violating. Let's try a new thing called honesty. We are enjoined to do "what is straight and good in the eyes of the L-rd". This is the sentence in the Torah that fills in all the grey areas so people can't say "well it's not really violating Shabbos" - stop making excuses IT IS FORBIDDEN and shouldn't be tolerated.
Third issue is the attempt to justify the behaviour of these children or adults. We wouldn't accept a pedophile who only did it a little bit or a murderer who only killed really old or really poor people. "Hey those people were almost dead or like-dead, so what's wrong". There ain't no "a little pregnant". These kids are not observing the Shabbos so let's call them what they are non-observant orthodox Jews - if ever there was an oxymoron - this is a doozy.
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