John and Joan Schwartz

Film Review

"Action of the highlight of the film," says John Schwartz, while Joan Schwartz finds Jaden Smith's acting somewhat lacking.


Hold The Bagels: Two Jews Schmeer ‘Battleship’

05/28/2012 - 20:00
Assistant Managing Editor/Online Editor

Roper and Ebert, they’re not, but John and Joan Schwartz have some strong opinions about the latest movies they’d like to share.

“ ‘Battleship’ sucked,” and the recent action movie flop based on a board game may be the worst movie they have ever seen.

Still, it gets one and-a-half-bagels out of sheer generosity.

That’s one of the few times they agree, said Joan, who said Terrence Malick’s 2011 Oscar-nominated “Tree of Life” was a “masterpiece” while John hated it.

Everyone’s a critic: John and Joan Schwartz rate the latest movies on their blog via a bagel system.
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