Jdate

I’m a bit weak in the knees for a film critic named Uri Klein.

I mean, the guy’s a genius. An absolute, honest to Hashem genius.

I’m a sucker for a good, old fashioned egghead.

You know, the kind of man who would never play the romantic lead in the movies, on account of the fact that he is too lanky and bespectacled and introverted.

I never thought I'd stoop this low.

But I sorta, kinda shaved a few years off my age on my Jdate profile. Which is another way of saying, I’m a liar.

It's not my fault. Really, it isn't. Because now that I am over 35, and inching closer to 40, in the world of online dating that renders me persona non grata.

If one more Israeli asks me “Did you come here alone?” and then reacts with absolute shock and disbelief when I answer in the affirmative, well, I will just have to throw myself into the Hudson river and call it a day.

Wait a minute.

I will throw myself into the Jordan river, if only I knew where that was, exactly. Near Aroma?

There’s nothing like being reprimanded by Jdate to really make a single gal feel like a million bucks.

“In order to inspire his total devotion, you need to stop using all the wrong ways that most women think work to get love, but really just push men away,” begins the email titled, “Inspire his total devotion” sent by Jdate to its female patrons.

It ends this way: