Space Nuts
02/04/2013 - 12:08
Douglas Bloomfield

Finally, there's some good news out of Iran.  President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has volunteered to become the first Persian man in space following what his government claimed last week was the successful launch and recovery of a monkey.  

"I am willing to be launched into space as the first Iranian to sacrifice his life for the Iranian scientists," he said.  

I rarely find anything I can agree upon with this notorious anti-Semite and Holocaust denier, but this looks appealing. He is term limited and will be leaving office after the June presidential elections.

I propose starting a fund to help finance his trip – one-way ticket only – into space history. It would be an appropriate send-off.

Judging from recent reports out of Tehran, where the ninth member of his cabinet was just impeached, he has lost favor with the Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, who had approved his former protégé's rigged election four years ago.

The Iranian space agency said it does not plan a manned launch until 2019, but for a government that often demonstrates immunity from reality and a penchant for fantasy, it shouldn't be too difficult to advance that date. That means time is running out for the space launch, so send your dollars, sheqls, euros and rials now to

He won't be the first Iranian in space, however; that honor went to an Iranian-American woman space tourist, Anousheh Ansari, who paid the Russians for a ride to the International Space Station in 2006.

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