Where the Boys Are
12/03/2010 - 09:34
Anonymous

The point of her story was her job interview and the possibility of gainful employment, but I had other possibilities in mind.

“Did you say the company is located in the high tech valley?” I asked, even if in Jerusalem, the high-tech area is not really a “valley.”

She said it was.

“Where there are tech companies there are men!” I said, giving her a friendly punch on the arm to wake her up.

Her eyes opened wide.

“I never thought of that,” she said.

“Leave it to the expert, m’dear,” I said, quickly advising her, once she gets the job, of course, to plan on taking long lunches in the cafeterias and local cafes.

“And be sure to put on a little lipstick,” I added, channeling my mother.

I mean sure, it’s a lousy commute if you don’t have a car, but think of the possibilities!

Because if you’re looking for a man, and haven’t found him yet online or hiding out in his mother’s attic, chances are you’re not going to run into him at that lovely poetry gathering you’re so into.

I mean, you might. But I never have.

In my experience, men are - how shall I say this? – rather limited animals. And it gets worse the older they get, which is another way of saying, the only time they tend to leave the house is for work, the gym, or to frequent the same establishments they have been frequenting since their youthful 20s.

And so, a single gal must go where the boys are.

Which what I quickly advise my friend to do, because I actually hate anything that smacks of male energy. Sports arenas, for one, and those terrible electronic stores for two.

The minute I walk into a Best Buy I hear all the buzzing and crackling from all the many over-sized tv’s and miniscule computers and I just see them piling up, abandoned, in some third world country, poisoning all the poor naked children who are playing nearby.

Which is another way of saying, I’m insufferable. And a hypocrite since I’m very into my own computer.

Which is really another way of saying, I need a boyfriend so that he can finally get my tv to work since for a full year now I’ve just had “buy tv cable” on my very long “to do” list.

I also need a man to come and finally change that burnt out light in my extra room since I’ve been sitting in the dark for six months. Oprah, of course, advises against this. Don’t wait for a man to move forward with your life!

True. Then again, I have other rooms with working lights so why bother?

Which is all another way of saying, I hope my friend gets the job!

And that she finds love in the process.

And that I do, too, without having to ever go to high-tech valley. Ick! I’d rather hang at the lovely Anna Ticho house, having myself a spot of tea and catching up on my Jane Austen.

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