Stop With All the Love Stories
09/19/2010 - 22:01

It was a mistake to read the Vows’ column.

I mean, it’s hard enough keeping up morale in this dating morass and here the Times has to up and feature as its central love story yet another Cinderalla tale.

This time the bride, who happens to be the great-granddaughter of a famous American oil magnate - with the last name to prove it - was chosen and pursued by a young man until she finally said yes.

You see, the groom already had his eye on his princess starting when they were just kids. But he waited until they were young adults before trying to make it romantic.

And while she did date him one magical summer when they were in their early 20s, she spent the interim years running from him, letting him catch her, and then running away again.

It’s like the old Hollywood formula: Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl.

In the meantime, he either waited patiently for her to come back to him or he followed her across the country, moving not once but twice to be closer to her. Without even the knowledge that she would reciprocate.

During one period of waiting he even set about to improve himself, saying that “This was a very special woman, and she would want to be with someone interesting and worldly.”

Eventually, she said yes.

This story could have ended differently, of course. But then it wouldn’t be in the Vows column.

But since it did have a happy ending, what are we to make of it? Which is another way of saying, why does it irritate me so much?

Is this a beautiful story and I’m a mega bitter grouch?

All I know is that after years of being single, this story just reinforces that so much in the love department has to do with luck.

I mean, what did this girl do to get this guy to chase after her for so many years? On the contrary, she couldn’t push him far enough away. And still, he never gave up.

So what is the moral?

What do I know?

All I can say is that sometimes you’re lucky and sometimes you aren’t.                                                                                                                                                   

Which is another way of saying, maybe it’s a waste of time to put so much effort into finding love when either it comes to you or it doesn’t.

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It's not luck, silly. It's bashert! It only happens in the right time with the right person. The way it was meant to be.
I am glad that The Jewish Week maintains a realistic blog like this one. To make you feel better or worse, I can tell you that things are just as bad for women in the United States. It's shocking that no matter how hard a woman tries and how fine she is herself, it is virtually impossible for her to meet a deserving man. There are no magic recipes for woman who were not born princesses or supermodels, so I came to the same conclusion as you did and left it to luck. Meanwhile, when I get angry, I practice yoga and whenever I feel lonely, I remember that there are so many women in the world who are much less fortunate than I am. Thank you again for telling the truth and best of luck to you (literally speaking)!

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