Miracle of Miracles: The Lady's Son Really Is Single!
11/05/2010 - 03:12
Anonymous

I had one of Oprah’s “Aha!” moments this morning while giving Mister Trevor Dog his vitamin C, fish oil, vitamin e, glucosamine…

Where was I?

Oh, yes, back at the doggy old age home where the two of us share vitamins, minerals and the Haaretz Books section, even though those criminals won’t let me review books for them…..

“The truth, Abby! The light bulb that went off! Pray, tell, woman, what was it?”

Ah, yes! Thanks for keeping me on track. I had forgotten and was just about to make a few phone calls.

So the realization. The best way for me to illustrate this is with a little story. A true one. You might want to sit down. Pour yourself a drink. Pop a glucosamine.

So I had a meeting with someone at work. It’s not important why I met with her. What is important is that I noticed the cuteness factor of her son whose photo was displayed prominently on the wall.

I also noticed that he was holding a baby. Never a good sign when it comes to my love life.

When I returned to my desk after our meeting and dashed off a quick thank-you note, my being American and all, I mentioned that I couldn’t help but notice the nice pictures of her family and that if she happened to have a single son to send him my way, I would be most indebted and delighted.

So what's the deal, you ask? I mean, we had a professional meeting and I took a risk and ventured to ask whether she knows anyone for me.

Total no biggie, right?

Wrong.

Because I am always, and I mean always, doing that. And by always, I mean I’m constantly taking the risk and asking people if they know anyone. And they always, and I mean always, look at me blankly. Not only have they never been single a moment in their lives, they don’t know anyone within a 20-mile radius who is also single, except for, well, me.

Which is another way of saying, this is often an exercise in humiliation.

I even told myself that. “Abby!” I said. “Just give up, already! Stop peddling, peddling, peddling. The lady doesn’t know anyone and her son is married!”

But I couldn’t help it. I am incapable of giving up.

And guess what?

Not a minute after I sent the email, my phone ring.

“He’s single!” said the voice on the other end of the line. It turns out he was holding one of his nephews.

“Here’s his email!” his mother said to me, which was code for, “Marry him! Please!”

The only downside? The dude lives in China.

Still, it shows me that sometimes, every once in a while, there is going to be someone who does know a single man.

And that alone is reason to give me hope.
 

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