Love Advice on the New Jersey Transit
10/07/2010 - 05:59
Anonymous

I didn’t mean to tell the lady sitting across from me on the NJ Transit to Newark Airport my whole love story, but maybe that’s what happened.

All I said was I was headed back to Israel and perhaps mentioned that I came to New York to test out a romance.

And, well, is it my fault that when I told her how I had spent a lovely and intense five days with a certain someone, that even though it was very sweet and nice, in the end he could not tell me whether he felt we should continue.

“I need to see if I miss you when you’re back in Israel,” was what he said.

“He can’t commit!” said my new friend.

This was a new twist on the matter since all along I had blamed the problem on emotional distance on his part. Because I could not understand how a man who wanted me to come visit him, who told me he is looking to get married and have a family, and who spent practically the whole weekend with me in harmony, including much hand holding, and who even made me tea when I was feeling sick, was uncertain as to whether we clicked or not.

“But you’re not me, Abby,” was how he put it.

Which is another way of saying, do I need to meet a man just like me or rather a man who just likes me?

“It’s for the best,” said my train friend. She said he and I were better off as friends.

“When you meet your man you will know. It won’t be confusing and you won’t have to worry,” she said, smiling.

She looked to be around in her 60’s and told me her family originally came from the West Indies. A director of a summer camp, while she has one son – who is my age – she confided in me that everyone thinks she is their mom.

I could relate.

Giving me a friendly appraisal, she summed me up as a “people person,” and recommended that I seek out another “people person.” This, also, was new to me. I tend to like introverted men. But introverted men haven’t been working out so well for me.

As she stood to exit the train, she wished me luck and said over her shoulder, “You came all this way and wouldn’t you know it but you’re man is probably waiting for you right back in Israel!”
 

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